The Peace You Seek

Here’s a twist:

You’ll never find peace of mind outside of you.

And you’ll never find peace of mind focusing only on you.

Weird but true.

Peace of mind comes from four directions, in my experience:

    1. Health

    2. Wealth, as you define it ( I have a new definition, which I’ll share with you later!)

    3. Love–the greatest of these.

    4. Perfect Self Expression

These four directions fulfill a matrix for peace of mind. That peace that we all seek won’t be found in someone else, laying your expectations on another person fulfilling you by loving you or being your object of love, or by being the One that makes you whole.

It doesn’t work like that. The peace you seek, that we all seek, comes from within. You have to BE that peace, that love, that sense of your potential that you’ve felt for so long and have wondered why you haven’t reached it as yet. It’s not enough to seek it, to desire it, to long for it, to project it, to expect it.

You have to BE PEACE, itself. Or, rather, BE PEACE IT SELF.

That means that when someone does something and you feel upset, you have to be peace it self.

When someone cuts you off in traffic, you have to be peace it self.

When your love of your life does something that irritates you, you have to be peace it self.

That ‘SELF’ that you have to be in order to have peace of mind includes those four directions: Health, Wealth, Love and Perfect Self Expression.

So, here’s how it could go for you, in say, an example where the one you love does something that you find irritiating:

    1. A healthy way to look at her or his behavior is to disengage from your own reactions. Those feelings are yours, and most likely stem from some expectation that you have about how the ‘correct’ way to act is for someone you’re in relationship with. Those expectations are mostly what get in the way of relationship happiness and fulfillment. I’d suggest you drop them, continuously.

    2. Coming from a place of wealth, a person you love doing something you find irritating could be seen from a thousand different angles. So, that’s a wealth-y way of looking at it, first off, in that you have an infinite number of ways to look at any situation. Secondly, if you are full as a person, and thus wealthy, whole and complete as you are, then someone’s behavior doesn’t detract from your wholeness one iota. Thus, coming from a place of wealth, you stay whole and complete, not threatened by their behavior, and thus, not irritatted.

    3. Love is of course the greatest path. If you come from Love, absolute Love, then you can see the other person as a reflection of your own inner patterns manifesting, and thus a carrier of the message you need in order to evolve to the next level of your life. You could cultivate Love for your beloved, and find the good in their irritating behavior. You could send Love to them, rather than get snagged by your own controlling patterns. The path is Love, the result is peace of mind along this path. You get to choose, so choose Love.

    4. A part of this path of peace of mind is Perfect Self Expression. PSE is a way of saying what is going on with you that totally takes responsibility for your own thoughts, emotions, reactions, communication and results. There is no mis-communication within a path of Perfect Self Expression. There’s only the constant searching for how to speak so the other person ‘gets’ you, and you ‘get’ them as well. You can always say, "You know, I’m having a bit of a reaction to what you’re doing there, and it’s my reaction I know. I’d like to slow down, and not react, so I’m going to take a moment and get myself together so I don’t go off the hook here." Your reactions are yours, and yours alone. They exist within your own experience, not someone else’s. Dumping them on someone else, especially someone you supposedly love, is silly and counter productive to being close with that person. That is what you want, right, to be close with them? Then choose Perfect Self Expression, take responsibility for everything that you feel and think, and make your life your own.

So peace of mind as a path takes you to places that may seem unfamiliar. Places of self-responsibility, of self-examination, of self-love and loving others deeply. These are good places to be, they’ll lead you to where you want to go if you let them. But you have to let them, and not be so set on being self-determined, not so goal-oriented, not so controlling.

You have to let go a bit in order to find peace of mind. You can’t find it by trying to control all the people and episodes of your life. Doing that will actually create more trouble for you, rather than finding your path to peace.

I know. I’ve tried the other way. It doesn’t lead anywhere worthwhile. Actually, it doesn’t lead anywhere at all.

Find your path to peace throught the four directions we’ve talked about. Make it be yours. Email me if you’d like some help getting your Self onto that path. I’ll show you how.

Namaste’.